who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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