Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You're like the curious george of whores
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just pee around me
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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