wat bout pragnant strippers??
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize