So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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