If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
