med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
How naked do you want me to be?
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