She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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