My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
