Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
