she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
