My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
