haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
