out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
