Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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