Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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