Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The beer is more important than you right now.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
