so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
