someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
