sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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