I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
