I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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