I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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