he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
