you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
