it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
