she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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