He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
