You don't have asthma, your pregnant
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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