did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
