Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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