Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
