I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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