the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have feelings that need drinking.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
