I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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