I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
