Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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