We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
