This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
