May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
