I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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