She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
