Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
