We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
