did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
