I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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