i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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