i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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