guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
