There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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