she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
