So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
