Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize