I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we're making bets on your personal life
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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