Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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