Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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