While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
