please come you make the beer taste better
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
