Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So squirting runs in the family.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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